David the Movie Snob takes on HANNA (slight spoilers)

Last Thursday, David and I went to see the new film, Hanna.  It's no secret that I have no qualms about watching murderous preteens; in fact I kind of dig that stuff.  So, as you might expect, I was very excited to see this movie.

Joe Wright's camera work and Saoirse Ronan's performance were no disappointment.  The visuals are absolutely incredible, from the opening scene where Hanna takes down a reindeer (I think?) to the ending in an overgrown, whimsical children's theme park.  The initial scenes, aided by Ronan's amazing acting, provide what is needed to get the audience on the side of the underage killer--even after watching her commit brutal acts of (possibly unnecessary?) violence.

However--and it pains me to find myself nearly as snobby as the movie snob himself--the film begins to lose steam about halfway through.  The plot becomes relatively predictable, with the only questions being how exactly it plays out.  Meaning, who lives and who dies.  But all the how's and why's are pretty well inferred.

Another issue, as the Snob himself pointed out, is that there are a few...let's say "ability" inconsistencies. Early action scenes are very Bourne-esque, with Hanna and her father taking down 2-8 armed and trained federal agents with minimal difficulty.  However, when Hanna and her father's nemesis enlists the help of a German fetishist and his two scrawny skinhead goons, well, that's when the super-teen and her dad meet their match.  While 8 agents don't pose a threat, man it's really hard and stressful to take down these German brawlers on motorbikes.

So, in sum, it was an amazing and visually exciting movie to watch, and I'd still recommend it to anyone who digs that sort of thing.  I mean, I'd probably even watch it again.  But, there are plot issues, and I can tell you David the Movie Snob will not be taking in a second viewing.

The breakdown:

DMS rating: 4/10, to which I responded, "REALLY!?"  Jeez, it wasn't that bad!

my rating: 7/10  Seriously, give it a watch! :)

Anyone else seen this flick?  What did you think?

Unexpected erotic moments with sex-switching mutants...umm?

David the Movie Snob has done it again.  He has watched a movie!

Momentous, I know.

Okay, actually it's not that momentous.  We've watched a great many movies since the last DMS review, and that snob David has commented on all of them.  Unfortunately, Madameduck (I speak of myself in the third person here because I dislike accepting blame) has not written about any of them.

But, now I'm in this Starbucks attached to the Chapters, wondering what to do to take my mind off the disgustingly weak coffee and the grating experimental jazz.  I came up with an answer.  Blog, of course.

So, behold, a DMS review of SPLICE!  (warning, there's a few mini-spoilers in here.  I just couldn't help myself)

I had been looking forward to this movie way back when it came out, but for some reason, I hadn't watched it till now.  (I feel like I say that about a lot of movies...)  Anyway, the premise is thus: irreverent hipster scientists Clive and Elsa decide (selfishly) that they want to stretch the moral and legal boundaries of their practices and splice human DNA with a variety of animal DNA.  Apparently, according to headstrong and completely fucked-up Elsa, it's for the good of humanity.  See, if they can do this splicing, they'll be able to save all of the poor saps dying of cancer.  Somehow.  Her pansy-ass boy-toy, Clive, sees nothing a whole lot wrong with this plan, but goes along with it anyway.  Maybe she'll put out if he gives her her mutant baby, right?

Well, actually, he was right.  After tucking in their now adolescent (apparently splicing=accelerated growth) creation one night, things get steamy.  Because, really, if I'd just broken a shitload of laws and created some kind of violent human/animal thing, that'd get my hormones raging too.

The hormones apparently don't stop raging, mutant hormones included, as things spiral quickly, if not predictably, out of control.

What did I think of the film?

Surprise!  I loved this movie.  This kind of disturbo-freak-fest is right up my alley.  I cringed through a lot of the scenes and hated all of the characters (even Adrien Brody's character, despite the fact that he's my celebrity crush!), but for me, that's a sign of a good flick.  I knew right from the moment the flowery Gaumont logo flashed on the screen that this would not be the typical sci-fi that I thought it would be.  French people know how to get twisted.

As soon as the movie ended, I exclaimed, "Eeeee!  I hated it!  Turn it off!" and then I made a bunch of unintelligible sounds as I writhed on the floor.  But then, 2 hours later when I still hadn't fallen asleep, I realized that Splice was one of the best films I'd seen in awhile.  It was haunting, thought provoking, and ....line-crossing.  :)  The tension and disturbiness in this film were along the lines of Lars von Trier and Michael Haneke: not in your face gruesome, but more like something itching underneath your skin.  Like "igh."

What did David the Movie Snob think?

He liked it too.  Sorry, no snarky comments this time. :)

my rating: 7/10
DMS rating: 6/10.  Ever the snob.

Bloody Murders are Cool

Alternatively titled: David the Movie Snob takes on KICK ASS

So, before my long and blogless weekend, David and I watched Kick-Ass.  I cannot believe it took me so long to watch this movie.  When I first so the preview so many months (years?) ago, I knew that I HAD to see this, but somehow it faded off my radar until we found it at the video store last week.

Just to briefly synopsize (wow, that's really a word?): Kick-ass is about a dumbass dorky high school student who decides to be a superhero.  He doesn't have a super power, but is later helped out when he gets stabbed by some crooks and then hit by a car, leaving him with damaged nerve endings so he feels no pain.  Ta-da!  He may not have a super power, but he can suddenly take one hell of a beating.  And he does.  Several in fact.  While all that beating is happening, he runs into HitGirl and her father, BigDaddy (haha) who are actually Real superheroes, which apparently means they really kill people.  This is when Dumbass (I mean Kick Ass) realizes he's in way over his head.  In fact, I think the exact moment he realizes that is when he watches 11-year old HitGirl chop off a bad guy's leg.  Nice.

Despite the fact that this movie veered quite dramatically from what I thought it would be, I thoroughly enjoyed it.  It takes a bit of suspension of disbelief, but really, it's a movie about a SUPERHERO so I think that's to be expected.  Once I got over the fact that the whole second half of the movie would involve a little girl brutally killing at least 50 people with the help of her father, I really had fun.  Oh, yeah, I also had to get over the fact that Nicolas Cage was in it...can't stand him.

David, though, didn't get over the Nick Cage or the little girl murderer.  He was not impressed.  "If it's going to be a super violent kind of disturbing movie, they should bill it as such.  Also, don't even get me started on the plot holes," was the main gist of his comments, though he went on for about 10 minutes on the subject.  He also didn't like the lame love story that they tried to stick the main character with.  Eh, not such a big deal.  I love love stories, even if they are lame. :)

The breakdown:

DMS rating: 3/10 "But my scale is actually a 5 point scale because I find it better suited to my ratings."  Right, Mr. Snob

my rating: 7/10

David the Movie Snob takes on Inception

This is the first in what I hope will be a series of David the Movie Snob posts.  David is my delightful and doting other half who happens to have better taste in movies than 99.9% of humans everywhere the world over.  ...that's according to him.

Recently we went to see Inception, a movie that I - quite frankly - loved!  I thought DiCaprio did an excellent job showing the many layers of his character, but the director and scene set up really is what stole the show.

We watched it at our favourite classic theater, one that seems to never have a lineup or a full house, so we were one of two couples sitting on the balcony.  Still, though, the collective gasp of all (20?) patrons after the last scene was impressive.

Everyone gasped except David the Movie Snob, of course.  As we strolled back home in the still-humid evening, I asked him why he didn't seem surprised by the ending and he said plainly, "Well, I could have told you that's how it would end.  After, like, the first scene I figured it was all ***SPOILER!***."  Hah!  you thought I was going to give it away!

But I'll give you a hint...see if you can find a scene in that movie that shows how they got where they are.  That will make more sense after you see it!

Anyway, today we went to see Predators.  Maybe it was to escape the over-thinking deepness of Inception the night before?  I'm not sure.  You may not believe it, but one of the films that tops David the Movie Snob's top 50 is Predator.  Unfortunately, PredatorS didn't live up to its Predecessor!

...though, I didn't mind the fact that Adrian Brody seemed to lose a layer of clothing in each scene.  Pretty sure that didn't help David tMS's rating...

Speaking of Ratings:

Inception got a 8/10 from me and a 6/10 from David the Movie Snob.
Predators got a 4/10 from me (only cause of the bare chestedness!) and a 3/10 from David the Movie Snob.

Guess I'm snobbier than I thought!